I recently spoke to my dad about the way I selectively listen to other people and hear what I want to hear or what I think I can solve instead of just hearing what they are saying. My dad said what you'd expect most parents to say, and that was that I shouldn't beat myself up about it, that everybody does it, and that it's okay because life really is that complicated.

You'd been telling me that too, and I heard you, but I didn't want to believe you any more than I wanted to believe him. But I do. I believe you both, and I've known it for a long time. It's just that I want things to be simple so badly that I try to ignore the complications and hope that, like the monsters under a kid's bed, they'll just go away if I can learn to ignore them consistently.

I told my dad that I always thought you beat the dragon and then you get the girl. Only for me, the dragon was like, if you write enough poetry you'll kill him. And for me, that's easy. So, simple.

My dad said "Can't beat the dragon. He changes the rules when you start to win."

I've told this story to a few people since, and I've been pretty proud for having a dad who can say something cool and wise in a context like this one. I had saved the instant messenger conversation I had with him, too, and just now I went back and looked at it and found out that I'd gotten it slightly but significantly wrong.

My dad actually said "Can't beat the dragon. He makes up the rules as you go."

You were one of the people to whom I told the story wrong, and I wanted you to know because I don't want you to think that my pops says you can't win. I don't want you to think that I was touched by what he said because I think you can't win. I don't think that. I think that you can't beat the dragon, but you can still win. Maybe that's counterintuitive. Maybe it's just that life really is that complicated.

Remember how not too long ago we both said "I win" and meant it? I didn't mean to imply that I thought we were wrong, and I want to take it back if I did.

what's on:
"Try" (Michael Penn - Resigned)