I'll be honest with you. If I really do pull this off, and it's technically possible, I'll look back and realize that the bulk of the actual work was done in the first and last weeks. There are many days in the middle where I reported that I did more drum programming or sequencing, and that was never false reporting, but I didn't mention the actual amount of time spent working because in many cases it was very small. I came out of the gate like gangbusters and then lost a lot of motivation, either because I was complacent for having gotten so much done early on or just because sometimes even the projects that are fun and creative are hard to start. I'd find myself drinking coffee, procrastinating in front of the computers until I actually couldn't sit in front of them any more and had to take a break before I'd even started working.

Of all the people doing NaSoAlMo, I'm probably in one of the best boats given that I have been unemployed this whole month. I start working tomorrow. I did spend time looking for a job almost every day for quite a while, but that's not the same amount of time and energy that someone taking full time classes or working full time has to put in during a normal day. So my hat is off to all of the people who are working or going to school and also doing this.

I know I have very high standards for myself like many people who try to make their creative ideas a reality, and for that reason this homestretch of the final songs has become something of a chore at times when I know it should really be something I very much enjoy. Deadlines certainly can take the enjoyment out of things and so can perfectionism. If nothing else this month has already taught me some stuff about myself that I've either never noticed or had noticed and forgotten.

I have a lot of trouble working hard on anything when my mood is less than perfect or when things that are important to me are currently difficult to control or completely out of my control. I am greatly humbled by people who seem to have no problem forging ahead and attacking the day even when there are things going on that might paralyze someone like me. I'm slowly learning how to motivate and to allow the things I enjoy to still bring joy in spite of other things on my mind. I'm not good at it at all, but I do have some good role models. I mean there are people in my life who I actually see doing this successfully or at least more successfully than I can manage. There are also people in my life who have fairly bluntly pointed out to me that there's probably a better way for me to approach the world when I'm currently letting it get the best of me, and that's helpful, but the ones I see doing it are the real inspiration. I guess I kind of need both. The wake up call and the opportunity to see the final product in action, so I don't feel like I'm trying something that may actually be impossible.

I namecheck my friends on this blog fairly often, and I usually do it in the context of being amazed or humbled by them. I will spare you the names and the links to other people's websites this time around, partly because this is somewhat off topic for this entry and partly because, you know, it's the same people who always make my life a little better. They all certainly complicate my life at times, and they can all throw wrenches into it and even be some of the things that are difficult to control or tax my emotions or bring my mood down, but in the end they will always be forgiven because they also consistently make my life better. I am aware that this is the positively spun reiteration of the commentary I made a couple weeks ago, and I'm kind of glad that it appears here in it's not-angry form as well.

I am actually writing this before I've even started working on my album for day twenty-six, but for once it's not exactly procrastination preparing an entry that I know I won't post until after the day is over. This time I'm writing all of this down so I don't forget that I believe it, so I remember the things I've said I'm working on and continue to improve and so I make myself feel ready to work hard today in spite of the difficulties I sometimes have doing so. I have told other people many times that it shouldn't be embarrassing to be fallible or wrong to be simply human, and I think it's about time I allowed myself to actually live by that as well.

So maybe this entry turns out to actually be the one I thought about writing for Thanksgiving. The one where I list or at least reflect on the things for which I really am thankful. The one that makes me realize what's important to me and perhaps why I'm even here in the first place. Only instead of listing them for everyone else to read, I'm just going to be aware of them while I work on something that I care about and want to accomplish.

I will list one though, because it's the most important for me in the context of this NaSoAlMo thing: Anyone can play the guitar and make up songs, but nobody plays the guitar or makes up songs exactly like I do.

So, the actual update on what happened today is this:

I got some much needed laughter out of one piece of gear I've had for ages but not used much. I finished doing the vocals for "That Night" (Indiana) today, and I used the Digitech Studio Vocalist to pitch and formant shift my vocals for the harmony part. If you're not familiar with formant shifting, think of it this way: Everything I sang for the harmony part was shifted an octave up, but rather than making me sound like a chipmunk, the processor also shifts the formant of my voice so it continues to sound more or less human. It's not perfect, and if you listen to the track all by itself you'll hear some nasty artifacts of the processing, but in the mix it's not easy to notice. (The way to clean it up would be to have a very very quiet vocal track with spot-on pitch going in, and I just don't have the time to do that in these last days of throwing everything together. It sounds pretty good though, and I'm pleased with it.) The end result is, well, what I would sound like if I were a woman singing soprano. I hope nobody accuses me of cheating and adding guest vocals to this song, because the chick singing harmony is in fact Martina.

I also started and finished all of "This Song Is for Iowa" except for the solo today. I'm not sure what I'm going to do for the solo, but everything else is done, and I'm very happy with the results. It features tripled lead vocals!

Tonight I finally had the chance to record Abby singing her version of "Big Schnuggle." Now that is exciting!

what's on:
"Ed Is Dead" (Pixies - Come On Pilgrim)