The software consulting company where I work rents their office space from a Catholic church here in Portland. It's actually kind of cool, all things considered, and as the CEO of the company told me multiple times before my first interview here, "Don't worry. We are not affiliated with the church."

Working in a church doesn't really seem that different from working in any other building where other stuff besides your company is going on, although some of the other stuff is a little odd by "office building" standards. For example, not too long ago there was a festival of anachronism downstairs in the kitchen as about 25 old women gathered with coffee and a little buffet of snacks at what I think was a wake for another woman who had died and was having a funeral service here that day.

Anyway, the church where I work also happens to be about two miles from my place, and I walk to and from work. Today, I spent about the last one third of my walk in varying amounts of pain from the overwhelming need to take a shit. I knew I'd be able to make it to work and use the bathroom before I had a Code Brown, but still it was not comfortable.

I finally made it to work and rushed to the men's room only to find that the single stall was already occupied, so I waited outside (because it's weird to wait in the bathroom and also because the fellow who was already at the controls clearly had not been emissions tested for 2007 yet) and hoped that I'd get my crack at the can post haste.

The dude was in there for at least fifteen more minutes, and I think I cursed more in a church today than I ever have before. When he finally rolled out, and I got a look at him, I was pretty sure he was homeless. Probably taking advantage of one of the few public restrooms he doesn't get denied access to. I can dig that. I mean I got nothing against the guy, and I knew the only reason I had wanted to throttle him was simply a factor of the three laws of supply, demand and sphincter control.

I didn't get a really good look at him because honestly I was preoccupied with other things, but he looked pretty well dazed. One of my coworkers later matter-of-factly suggested that the guy was probably shooting up in there. Maybe he was, but I know he also doubled down because the evidence was, you know, evident. (I mean in the air, not the bowl.) He did leave a little something for me in the stall though.

This copy of Highlights is a Reception Room Copy. It says "Please do not remove."

what's on:
"Falco vs. The Young Canoeist" (McLusky - The Difference Between Me and You Is That I'm Not on Fire)